20th March Train home

So much has happened over the last few months, that despite my laziness, I must somehow update this blog.
I have, very easily, got over the chap mentioned in my previous blog titled the first snow of 2004. The Tokyo trip had refreshed me and helped to a great extent. Plus I had found a new hope in the form of Takeshi. It wasn't possible, and I knew that, but that hope of a possible love in a remote land had kept me going... and it helped me through these past few months, which were very busy, so very tough.

But of course, fantasies aren't real. Soon it hit me that despite what I thought was possible, it wasn't. My salary will soon stop, and I will not be able to afford trips to Japan annually. And my supposed love interest was someone I only met for one night, and could hardly communicate with. True, I am learning Japanese, but this beginner's course is hardly adequate, even for a simple conversation. It will take me years to master it. And there's no way to leave Singapore as I've to complete my course and serve my bond. That's six more years.

Yes I know. I've changed my mind again. I've conveniently deserted my original plans. What now, you say. How can anyone trust you? How do you even trust yourself?

23 march 2005 train home

But if you think about it, I was chasing a hopeless dream. I wasn't even sure what the other party felt about me. I was made no promises, and whatever plans I made were purely my own.

But as of now, things have changed. This time it isn't a fantasy man in some far away galaxy. This guy is real.
............................................................................

How I fell in love with you is still a mystery to me. Though, it is a mystery that does not need to be explained or unraveled. It simply happened.

I have known you for years. It has never crossed my mind that we would get this close. After all, I was just your ex's friend, and you, my friend's ex. We never got any closer after those initial meetings.

Perhaps fate works in strange ways. Perhaps if we had got together then, we would've squandered away this tender bond in the folly of our youth.

But what-ifs are of no consequence, now that we've found each other. We have so much to share, so much to see together, so much to learn from each other. To be very honest, we hardly know each other yet. But I think the future is bright. Everyday I will get to know you a little more. Everyday will be a new and exciting journey for us. What the future holds, we will never know. But I am willing to walk this path with you.

(Author’s note: Slightly cheesy, but reflected my state of mind then, hence, will keep it the way it was written.)